sleeping beauty

Sleeping Beauty

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• |11/06/2010 06:14 am
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Its late, i sit in my window listening to the cars go by.The crazy sounds of the city.Still cant believe i am living in Sin City....wow what a different life.
It was a year ago when i lay here in the ropes, happier then i had ever been. Cant believe its been that long since i heard the commands from a Master in my ear.Strange where life takes us.
Took me all my life and His skill to figure out who i am.Now i am right back where i started...living a vanilla life and have been since my release.No more use of the slut that was created. This slut feels worthless because she hasnt truly served since her release.She wonders if she stays on this path will the slut just simply disappear and the vanilla girl stay here for good.Can i really go back to the numb state. Back to the lack of excitement.The thrill brought on by fear and power?i feel like there is a big vanilla hole swallowing me up and with it goes my imagination...my fantasies...my passion....my submission.The slut in me is getting further and further burried inside.Almost as if going dormant.He awoke that in me and now its fading little by little out of sight.Eventually i suppose she wont exist at all.
If the slave in me disappears....where will i find my happiness again...will i become like the childhood fairytale. The story of sleeping beauty and the long dreadful sleep. Will the slut stay asleep until the "One" comes and unlocks her from her prison. Gives her back her freedom and will to serve. The "One" that holds the special key that Dominates her and brings her to her knees where she belongs...or will she forever be trapped asleep inside of me.
As i sit in my window listening to the cars go by, sadness fills my heart and loniliness takes over my soul...and i wonder where is He with the key?