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- |07/02/2010 06:09 pm
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i have decided that this week will be about the positive things. The reason for this is because i can look at this week with pride. i decided that i would set long term goals and short term goals. i am after all a slave with a short attention span. This is not meant in a negative way its just something i have grown to understand about myself. If i allow it i can spin anything out of control. So the long term goal is this: i want to become a slave that a Master would be proud to own.To be confident and obediant.To make His life more pleasurable and be drama free. So that is the long term. For the short term i will be setting goals of what i will accomplish on a weekly basis. This way i can take the negative out of it and focus on the positive.At the end of the week i will hold myself accountable here and appreciate what i accomplished and work on what i didnt. with that said these were my goals for this week.first goal was absolutely no alcohol. i accomplished this. this has been a very stressful week with my son getting in a serious wreck(he is perfectly fine, thank god!) with news my move might be put on hold, with the usual stress at work. I am proud to say i didnt drink.The second goal was to stop being a doormat. I am proud to say that i accomplished this as well. It has always been very hard for me to be up front with people and i have been doing it all week. The third was to get my butt off the couch and go to the gym. i must say i did it however i tried to come up with excuses to not go..looking for the loop holes. Its knowing i didnt want to face myself in these letters that lifted me up and went to the gym. walking 2 to 3 miles each time. So i did accomplish this but was dangerously close to talking myself out of it. For the forth, this was cussing. oh lord what a habit. its right up there with smoking. its a very hard one to change. i did not accomplish this. its a work in progress. the snapping the rubberband was working but then i wonder if i liked the pain...anyways i will say i am not using the f word as much. Didnt do great with that one but i will do better. So all in all it was a pretty good week. i am creeping towards the slave i am creating. i wont allow myself to say i am trying anymore because as always give me an inch i look for the mile. So if i say i am trying it creates a loophole for failure and exceptance of that failure.Those are the things i am working on as far as my behavior. I am working on the kids behavior as well. They think i am mean because they are back on their schedules of bedtime. However the chaos has calmed down again.They are doing what they are supposed to and i find that awesome. They have also been coming to the gym with me.Today instead of being depressed about what day it is, we spent the day at the park. It was so nice. We had lunch and the kids actually got along. They are right back to where they were when things were right in this house. They are doing great!So i can honestly look at this week with pride.It may not be much to others..its only been a week. It is alot to me. One week at a time that is all i am asking of myself. i was told there are two meanings for naughty..which one did i want to be. i choose naughty slave and i am working very hard to get rid of naughty girl.i will correct these destructive tendencies i have.this slave is under remodeling and sometimes its messy but in the end i will have built a wonderful slave one that i can be proud of.
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