Letters to me (6)

Letters (6) the diary pages of naughty

• PublicEveryone can see this
• |07/23/2010 06:15 pm
• |1 comments
• |0 trackbacks
• |44 Pageviews

ok before i get started,let me say that these letters are my diary. i have been told my writing is self absorbed. This makes me giggle because everyones diaries are. With that said...this week seemed to fly by.No bad behavior and as shocking as it is...no drama! yay! Getting easier to be a good girl. i must admit i am a little stressed out about the HUGE changes i am going to be making. Actually i am stricken with fear...like a deer caught in the head lights. i need to get it together and make a solid plan for moving. Wow this country girl packing up and moving to the big bad city.Normally that would call for getting hammered but i guess just making a plan will have to do. Its so hard for me to make these decisions without "help". God things were so much easier when i didnt have to make any.Its very hard for me to except change. A person wouldnt know that by my history but its terrible. i do love an adventure but usually one that just requires winging it.So, yesterday i came home early from work.i wanted to get to work on my plan and instead had myself a "feel sorry for myself cry party"! The kind that almost makes you laugh at yourself for how loud your crying...Its coming on a year since i was swept off my feet. Making these plans alone only reminds me of how good He was to me and how much i miss Him.So instead of working, i took a little side trip down memory lane and cried all day. How productive that was...But today is a new day with new attitude. i am hopeful about our new life. The kids are getting excited about our move and so am i. i cant wait to show them there is a whole world out there waiting for them to discover. i cannot wait to play with them in the sunshine. Hold my little ones hand as she walks the beach for the first time and the water tickles her toes. i cant wait to see the smile on her face the first time she jumps in a warm pool outside and goes to sleep knowing she can do it all again the next day.So with that in mind, i start my serious planning for our move. i am still working on my behavior trying to make sure i do not slip.i am no longer moving two steps forward and three steps back...its all forward from here.