Diaries of Naughty..Valentines Day for Master part 2

Well it is time to get ready so i head for the shower,thinking the hot water will calm me down. Trying to put on my make up i smear mascara across my cheek. Standing there looking in the mirror i cant believe i have just done this.Is this how it is going to play out. Laughing at myself i hit the road.

i take the route i always take thinking i will be there soon. But oh hell no..traffic is horrible. Music blaring as loud as i can get it, i watch the clock nervously. i am starting to panic because i am running out of time to have this dinner cooked when He walks in the door.Traffic finally breaks and i make it there by ten after Five. Master is usually home by six and i still have to preheat the oven. It takes forty five minutes to cook this fish.

While the oven preheats i run to change. i have brought two nighties over. One is bright red but makes my ass look bigger then the other one and given He was just teasing me about it..well i went with the purple one with flowers. it looks better with the pink collar anyways.

Yay! Master is running late. While talking to Him on the phone i start lighting the candles. How pretty it all looked. i made the salads in clear bowls and set them on the double plates.Now hopefully the salmon wont screw up,after all i did a practice run of this at home. i made the exact dinner in the afternoon so that i would be prepared for any mistakes. 

i hear the garage door beep. Omg He is home. i quickly pull the little door rug over and kneel in the Gor  slave greeting position.Now we do not practice their ways but i thought i should do something a little different so with the help of a friend the other night..that is the position we chose. So i am waiting for Him when my foot starts to cramp. i couldn't believe it, why the hell is my foot cramping and holy hell am i getting old. Thankfully it passed and i was sitting proper and still when He walked in.

Master smiled at the sight of the table. He told me how pleased He was with it all....We sat and ate dinner in candle light. It was so nice...oh and the salmon was screwing with me. It didn't look the same as the one i cooked at home,but it turned out perfect. Master enjoyed His dinner and His chocolate treats.

i was so happy it was all going smooth. i told Master i had a present in the living room for Him. He was so happy when He saw it and told me i had done good. i had ended up playing the radio because i couldn't find the button Red told me about..i was thinking the whole time where the hell is that repeat button :)

Note to self..do not feed Master a huge dinner and expect Him to lay on a flat massage table (giggles). Master and i pushed the table to the side and i blew out the candles. i sat at His feet and rubbed them while watching tv. He loved His heart shaped cake and all the things i had done.

This was a wonderful Valentines Day spent with a wonderful Master and i enjoyed every minute of it. The best part is...it is reality and in reality shit happens to change our plans a bit..shake things up.So although we didnt use the table tonight, we will get plenty of use out of it. The most important thing was that Master was happy with the things i had planned and in the end that is all that matters.

Blows Master a kiss....Happy Valentines Day, Master! Kisses xxx

Diaries of Naughty..Valentines Day for Master

Well it is O/our Valentines Day...although Master doesn't know it.:) Last week i finally figured out what i wanted to do. i wanted this to be something He would never forget..something special.However when planning this night i had no idea that my nerves would be so out of control. So to calm myself so that i don't throw up i thought i would write in my diaries...

While rubbing His back and trying to work around the bed, it occurred to me that the best thing to get Him and me would be a massage table. So i started the search on craigslist and i found one in great shape for very little. Over the top excited, i asked my friend if i could stash this at her house so that i could build this surprise night of pampering.So begins the planning.

Master has to have sugar free deserts. i remembered the sugar free bakery a couple miles away. So i decided i would stop by and find Him something yummy for after dinner.The lady there was so aggressive that i ended up buying a chocolate heart cake with cherries and whip cream on top that says Happy Valentines Day. So of course, now i am thinking what if He doesn't like cherries.sighs i did get a couple of the turtles He likes so if the cake is a bust, i should be ok.

So what to do for dinner...i remembered that i promised to make Him salmon like i had when i was growing up. The other day i found a place that sells fish that doesn't make you question if you will live or die eating it...so off to the store. i decided that salmon,rice, and romaine salad would be perfect for dinner.

Now for the details...i want to cover all the little details so last week  i went  to the store. i found every thing i needed hopefully. i did consider flowers but the last time i left Him a flower He went all quiet. So i thought candles would be a nice back ground for both dinner and the massage.

Now i had planned to have a weekend of pampering for Him starting with Friday..but of course i couldn't tell Him so plans were changed. i did manage to get in some trouble this weekend so this makes my nerves even more frazzled. Leave it to me to screw up right in the middle of something i had been planning.

This morning i thought i better get most of this set up so that i am not trying to do it all when He gets home. Taking everything inside a thousand thoughts are going through my mind. What if He doesn't like the dinner? What if He is not in the mood for any of this and just wants to relax watching t.v. when He gets home...holy hell i would die a thousand deaths.

Laying my nighties and pink collar in the guest room,i start putting things together. i washed and prepared the salmon just like mom use to do,covered it and placed it in the fridge with the salad and cake. Going to the closet i find the navy place mats and flowered linen napkins to match. Starting to panic i search for the napkin rings...thankfully i remembered they were in the new desk. Just like before i set the place mats with the rings and silverware.Standing in front of the table i start to shake. Damn it my nerves are out of control. Pulling out the candles and heart metallic confetti i begin to work on the details.

Master has clear dinner plates so i decided how cute would it be to double stack them with the hearts in between. Oh it looks so cute...i set the tall red candle pillars on the table with the little plate of chocolate clusters. Behind the table and on the desk near the kitchen i placed the little plates with the heart tea light candles and sprinkled confetti.Kitchen looks perfect...

my mouth starts to get dry and the shaking is becoming more intense...time to set up the table. Moving the coffee table to in front of His "spanking chair" i set up the table. i remembered there was a black sheet in His linen closet that would be perfect with a small pillow underneath it. Placing the large plate of tea lights on the coffee table and two small plates above the fireplace, i curse myself for not knowing how to use His fireplace...i can build a real fire but this was gas. i wonder to myself if the Adel cd i bought would be good background music or did i make a mistake? What if i am in the middle and the cd ends? Would this ruin the moment having to stop because my planning wasn't perfect? 

Looking at the house i have to run for water. my nerves are now so bad off i am almost throwing up. i have never done this sort of thing before and i am not sure how He will respond to it. Will He think it is all too much? Is this even appropriate for a slave to do for a Master or is this too romantic?

So here i sit watching the clock thinking what if i mess this all up...what if my head starts to sweat while giving Him the message? what if i burn the damn fish and ruin His dinner.What if all the little heart tea lights don't want to burn like they should? Do i light them all  before He gets there and if so what if they burn out while He is eating?

So i have learned something about myself through all of this...i am so not a switch! People have always said they see one in me but i know from just planning a romantic dinner and how  i am a bundle of nerves that i could never pull off a scene..

Wishing myself luck,i head off for the shower to prepare His properties body.

Diaries of Naughty..Things to do with Your slave on Sadistic Sat. :)

So it's been awhile since i rushed across town to spend the morning with a Sadist...how often in life can a person say that sentence ?  What a morning with Master...:) i am still spinning.

 

i don't know if He woke feeling frisky, if He had planned this the night before, or if something about the way i looked had Him wanting to take me for the roller coaster ride. What ever it was...i will never look at chop sticks in the same way ever again.

 

He played me back and forth so hard this morning between extreme affection to sadistic mind fuck games. i find myself sitting here with blank spots in my mind and a stupid grin plastered to my face. i am unable to have a normal conversation and it has been hours. He had me so bad off i was making strange noises and talking to myself...the best part is when He would try and act innocent and ask me what was wrong...and i was so messed up all i could do was say "fuck" and giggle a lot.

 

There was so many things i am starring out my window trying to remember them all or how He even started it. i remember snuggling Him while He sat in His chair...i said something smart ass and told Him i was just teasing...;) note to self...He has far too many things around the house that are cures for a smart ass. For example chop sticks on the nipples and one of those big clips that you put on chip bags on the tongue. Now when someone is squeezing that clamp on the tongue and chop sticks are hanging from your nipples..it is truly amazing how you have nothing sarcastic to say. Who knew one of those big clumsy clips could hurt so much if just the right amount of pressure is applied. The added bonus to that would be the humiliation factor..due to the fact one looks like a dumb ass with a clip on their tongue whining at their Master.

 

Here are some more of the things He thought of:

 

A fun one..when your slave is trying to recover from the heat you just placed in her, tell her to get on the laundry. This becomes a perfect time to lock her in the laundry room when she is busy trying to regain her senses and get her chores done.Imagine the look of surprise when she tries to open the door and can't get out. when letting the slave out of the laundry closet make sure to turn up the heat again...

 

Oh here is another fun one...when your slave is on her knees trying to figure out what is going on in Your head...tell her her only problem is she is inattentive. Tell her to look around and figure out what she has missed. Add extra pressure about how You will be mad if she doesn't figure this out while reminding her to keep looking. Demanding what is the answer...all of this is the perfect way to let her know Your coffee cup is empty.After all how boring would it be to simply say..i need some coffee girl...

 

While in the garage with her start pulling out the scariest tools You have in the tool box...twist her mind having her watch You look at each one and then at her.While she dances nervously wondering what in the fuck You are gonna do next..top it off with the most sadistic laugh You have.Lead her back into the house with her hands behind her back holding her by the thumbs,breasts exposed so that she fears the neighbors might see...

 

This is a really good time to apply the heat again. This can be done well with passionate kisses...or slaps to the face...choking her with her collar while kissing her. When You feel her crumbling with passion,remind her its breakfast time and You are hungry. After all a slave trying to cook breakfast with jelly legs can be entertaining. Side not..also it can be fun when she is not allowed anything from her waist up but her collar..and bacon does splatter.When the slave has served You, have her kneel at Your feet, feed her little bites off your fork or Your hand. This reminds her she is a slave and your gentleness will start to calm her again and remind her of Your control.

 

If Your slave is still able to stand after the up and down ride,its time to finish her off. Take her in the bedroom and crank up the heat again. Silly slut will most likely think she is finally going to be rewarded with Your cock..but of course she is wrong., After all this is a mind fuck and a roller coaster ride, Grab the slut by the hair and bend her over Your bed. Rip her pants down and spank her bare ass with Your hand...has she had enough...hehehehe no she hasn't. Grab Your belt and beat her ass and back and legs..listen to her moans and hit harder. Just when You see she is lost in the passion and almost no return, tell her ok girl you can go now. How entertaining to watch her slither on the floor mumbling stupid shit while trying to dress...send her on her way and hope she has enough sense to remember her way home.

 

 

Naughty's random thoughts

Do you ever feel responsible for the things you say on the net?

i have been thinking about the groups and things people discuss on the web sites. i often wonder about how much of it has even the slightest bit of reality involved. How much of it is the norm for the couples on a daily basis. It always makes me wonder about the new ones that try to learn by reading these discussions and the effects it has on them. Does it cause them to judge themselves against the stories? Do they come out short in their minds due to what they have learned. Could this cause them discomfort and frustration?

So the first place i was taken was to be registered at the slave register. Oh my i was so excited. There were so many submissives there and they were so smart and lived such wonderful lives. i was in complete awe of them. i read as much as i could as often as i could. They were all so very happy and living the erotic dream. Never did i read that anyone could think anything but of his happiness. Every breath they took revolved around this concept.These were my role models...i wanted so much to be like them.

So many thoughts, so many theories were shared..even some of their kink. Their lives were fascinating to me as i hung on every word.To afraid to speak in the forums because i felt as if i wasn't on the same playing field as them...,after all i was brand new and in an on line/long distance relationship...what could i possibly contribute?

Time went by and i was released. i looked to these role models to see if i could find any answers in their obvious words of wisdom. There was nothing written anywhere on how the mind of a submissive is not always content and not always jumping for joy to please....was i the only one out there that felt any difficulty in following His orders above all else? Did this make me a bad submissive? A role i strapped on?

Deciding that i needed to learn even more so that i could correct all the failed behaviors, i joined fetlife and then the groups for other subs. This, i thought, should help teach me the proper mind set of a submissive. Now i have been in these web sites and groups for two years...and yes i have learned a great deal. i am grateful for the resources to do just that.

Now i am owned in real time and there is a complete difference in that of on line and that of real time...still i find myself not relating to a whole lot of what i read. This use to bother me a great deal. i questioned so much about me...even with the constant reminder that all submissives are like snowflakes..not two being the exact same. Still i wondered what the hell...

Ever since the very first word i have spoke on the net..i have spoke as i would in person. i have never felt the need to create a completely different character from who i am. i have never had the need to portray things in a prettier light so to speak..it is what it is...

So now i am quite vocal on the sites i belong to...i have spoke up a great deal on things i have felt passionate about. i have always tried to reach out to those subs that have been left behind and those who are feeling lost in their submission. i speak loudly of choice to submit and hot topics of that nature. i feel like sometimes even though it is putting yourself in a not so good light..its better to put it out there so that the new ones can learn its ok to not be the slave "rock star".

However i am one of the lucky ones. Master doesn't concern Himself with all my words. i have a great deal of freedom to do so. i can write all over the place preaching to the choir about choice...there is no punishment for this. Sometimes i feel alone in my beliefs about this lifestyle and i search for others that will speak with reality on their feelings...

i wonder to myself what in the hell the is the purpose of belonging to these discussion groups if there is fear of your thoughts and feelings? Example..when was the last time you read " he wanted me to do the laundry and i didn't feel like it, i did it but felt resentful the entire time"...why is this such a death sentence to tell of the truthful feelings that we submissives as human beings sometimes have...why have a group for submissives to discuss things if putting out their true feelings would be considered a slam and disrespect? Why can't anyone be honest about things like this? i am not saying everyday a sub might have resentment..but surely there are days that they want to say fuck it and leave..but they don't because they are truly happy, just happen to be having a bad day. Why is this so unforgivable?

i truly think that if more people spoke of the reality and not just the best days...it wouldn't be so hard on some when they sit in judgment of themselves due to the shit they read out here. Maybe it would help the submissives to b e able to say holy hell i had a hard week..i couldn't get my mind straight and i struggles through every action i made. What is so wrong about this and why is it so hush hush. Why can't their be some what of a more realistic talk about play? when i first started i thought submissives were fucked and beaten around the clock..imagine my surprise when i became real time and found out that Masters cant fuck you while working ...that life happens and doesn't always agree with your fantasy of the life of a slave...That sometimes as a couple ( i know the dirty vanilla word) sometimes you just don't want to fuck every night....why cant people speak with more reality that hey i get beat only on weekends or once every two weeks or once a month or omg every six months...and just say how wonderful it is. There is no shame in that...

There is a shame however in the fact that when one is new you cant possibly know just how much extra is written and how much less is reality. Not everyday is whips and chains as much as we would like them to be. Now i am not so cynical that i don't believe that some couples have the ability to fuck like rabbits around the clock...beat the crap out of their slaves each and everyday...but i think that there are more that have to live life and get it when they can then those that experience that. i also believe i am not the only one out there that has had off days and Master's happiness was not the top of my list to do that day. i am after all human with selfish needs and sometimes the human in me kicks the slave in me to the back burner. Does this make me a bad person? i think this makes me real...

i just wish when i was new that there had been more reality and less fantasy and maybe the growing process wouldn't have been so painful...