Well it is O/our Valentines Day...although Master doesn't know it.:) Last week i finally figured out what i wanted to do. i wanted this to be something He would never forget..something special.However when planning this night i had no idea that my nerves would be so out of control. So to calm myself so that i don't throw up i thought i would write in my diaries...
While rubbing His back and trying to work around the bed, it occurred to me that the best thing to get Him and me would be a massage table. So i started the search on craigslist and i found one in great shape for very little. Over the top excited, i asked my friend if i could stash this at her house so that i could build this surprise night of pampering.So begins the planning.
Master has to have sugar free deserts. i remembered the sugar free bakery a couple miles away. So i decided i would stop by and find Him something yummy for after dinner.The lady there was so aggressive that i ended up buying a chocolate heart cake with cherries and whip cream on top that says Happy Valentines Day. So of course, now i am thinking what if He doesn't like cherries.sighs i did get a couple of the turtles He likes so if the cake is a bust, i should be ok.
So what to do for dinner...i remembered that i promised to make Him salmon like i had when i was growing up. The other day i found a place that sells fish that doesn't make you question if you will live or die eating it...so off to the store. i decided that salmon,rice, and romaine salad would be perfect for dinner.
Now for the details...i want to cover all the little details so last week i went to the store. i found every thing i needed hopefully. i did consider flowers but the last time i left Him a flower He went all quiet. So i thought candles would be a nice back ground for both dinner and the massage.
Now i had planned to have a weekend of pampering for Him starting with Friday..but of course i couldn't tell Him so plans were changed. i did manage to get in some trouble this weekend so this makes my nerves even more frazzled. Leave it to me to screw up right in the middle of something i had been planning.
This morning i thought i better get most of this set up so that i am not trying to do it all when He gets home. Taking everything inside a thousand thoughts are going through my mind. What if He doesn't like the dinner? What if He is not in the mood for any of this and just wants to relax watching t.v. when He gets home...holy hell i would die a thousand deaths.
Laying my nighties and pink collar in the guest room,i start putting things together. i washed and prepared the salmon just like mom use to do,covered it and placed it in the fridge with the salad and cake. Going to the closet i find the navy place mats and flowered linen napkins to match. Starting to panic i search for the napkin rings...thankfully i remembered they were in the new desk. Just like before i set the place mats with the rings and silverware.Standing in front of the table i start to shake. Damn it my nerves are out of control. Pulling out the candles and heart metallic confetti i begin to work on the details.
Master has clear dinner plates so i decided how cute would it be to double stack them with the hearts in between. Oh it looks so cute...i set the tall red candle pillars on the table with the little plate of chocolate clusters. Behind the table and on the desk near the kitchen i placed the little plates with the heart tea light candles and sprinkled confetti.Kitchen looks perfect...
my mouth starts to get dry and the shaking is becoming more intense...time to set up the table. Moving the coffee table to in front of His "spanking chair" i set up the table. i remembered there was a black sheet in His linen closet that would be perfect with a small pillow underneath it. Placing the large plate of tea lights on the coffee table and two small plates above the fireplace, i curse myself for not knowing how to use His fireplace...i can build a real fire but this was gas. i wonder to myself if the Adel cd i bought would be good background music or did i make a mistake? What if i am in the middle and the cd ends? Would this ruin the moment having to stop because my planning wasn't perfect?
Looking at the house i have to run for water. my nerves are now so bad off i am almost throwing up. i have never done this sort of thing before and i am not sure how He will respond to it. Will He think it is all too much? Is this even appropriate for a slave to do for a Master or is this too romantic?
So here i sit watching the clock thinking what if i mess this all up...what if my head starts to sweat while giving Him the message? what if i burn the damn fish and ruin His dinner.What if all the little heart tea lights don't want to burn like they should? Do i light them all before He gets there and if so what if they burn out while He is eating?
So i have learned something about myself through all of this...i am so not a switch! People have always said they see one in me but i know from just planning a romantic dinner and how i am a bundle of nerves that i could never pull off a scene..
Wishing myself luck,i head off for the shower to prepare His properties body.
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