It's been awhile so i thought i would write. Slumber party is over and i am back home. It was interesting to see how easy it was to fall into place living together. How odd is that for two people to not have any awkwardness about sharing that much time together.
It wasn't perfect though. i did manage to upset Him. i had a date for dinner with Him and due to other things i was late. It had been a very long time since i felt the disappointment of a Master. i must say i do not miss it. The difference this time was there was no laying alone wondering what would happen. As i lay on His floor too nervous to sit on His furniture or lay on His bed, i swear i could hear my heart beating.
The look on His face when He found me brought tears to my eyes. Not because i thought i would be beat..because that would have been a reward. It was because i knew He was very unhappy with me at that moment. He sat down on His couch as usual and explained to me why He felt the way He did. Guilt was dripping off me like syrup on the side of ice cream.i couldn't handle even looking at Him. God if only i could run for the door and leave behind that horrible feeling.i seriously had this thought run through my head.
Instead Master asked me where i was sleeping. lol Now what i wanted to do was sleep in the other room He calls my room. Far from Him and the terrible feelings of disappointment. i knew though if i choose this way it would make things worse then need be. i knew facing what He and i were feeling was truly the only way to handle this. i took a deep breath and told Him where ever He wanted. He asked me where i wanted to and of course i swallowed it and said with You Master.It was the right choice and i felt better snuggled in even through the silence.
He did forgive me for the mistake and things went fine. In the mornings i would wake up and run get His coffee while He played on His computer. i loved to lay out His socks and His under ware for Him on His bed. At nights i would lay back His covers and get His pills. Rubbing His feet while we watched His favorite shows.He would wrap His arms around me and hold me most of the night. Love to hear Him breathing in my ear.It truly was like we had always been together.
Except for the fact that there are some things He doesn't know about me. Such as i have been told i am quite cheeky..cheeky what a funny way to describe what i call just being me. i have always been a bit of a smart ass..ok a real big smart ass. i control this side of me and He wasn't even aware it existed. i
It got me thinking one day..i wonder if He knows how different i can be. Many have told me i am very complex. Again i am just me. However i am a very controlled me when in His presence. It's not me being fake,it's me being the slave He needs..and this i can be very comfortable...
So does He really need all the details? Does He need to know that everything pink makes me happy, especially pink fuzzy things like slippers or jammies. That i love hello kitty things and i always have. That the moon and the rain are my favorite things in life...that the one thing i miss the most about home was laying in my big bed staring at the moon and the stars. Does it matter that music can set my mood easily...certain music makes me feel very sexy or sad or content and peaceful.That i could spend hours painting wooden Christmas ornaments even though i am not very good at it. Does it matter that the best naps i have ever taken have been naked in a big quilt in the afternoon. That my own shadow makes me scream out loud sometimes because my mind is always working and it startles me.That i am actually very shy but i hide it behind humor or my flirty nature.That i absolutely love all things with polka dots and the smell of new plastic shower curtains. i have actually walked down isles of them smelling them. That a bonus is a plastic clear beach bag with polka dots....That i love to be told bed time stories and made to feel like a little girl but have no interest in the daddy/girl dynamic.That swimming naked in the moon light is as close to heaven as it gets. That being covered in mud while riding three wheelers is one of my favorite things in life.That i like to think He knows absolutely every answer to every question in my head because it makes me feel safe....
Would having all these details about me make it easier to control me or keep me in my place....maybe or maybe not. His voice and His touch keep me right there and i suppose that is all that matters...
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