diary of Naughty...slumber party

It's 6 pm and this time tomorrow i will be at His house. It will be O/our first sleep over. Imagine that a slumber party with your Master. i will be staying with Him for a little over a week this first time. i must admit i am a bit nervous.

Today on my slave-do-list...was packing for His house. i of course put this off not knowing what to take...looking around i think what will i need for a week...going through my closet was a task in itself. You know how when you are going on vacation packing your clothes is always hard. Do i look good in this or that...will i look sexy if i go out where this...will i need tampons..extra saddles,,perfume? Well going through ones closet thinking will He approve of this or that is a lot harder. my choice of clothes in the past are ..well..lets put it this way..slutty! Everything i own shows my cleavage and i do mean everything. This of course is not on the list of His way of dressing me. He is more reserved and classy...sighs...so needless to say there is not much to pack. i have started collecting clothes of His liking but it is a slow process.

So on the bed goes my dresses and different tops and pants..an assortment of bras and thongs (only allowed to wear them one week a month) jam pants and some big t-shirts.Hoping this will be enough, i pick up the pile and take it to the truck. i did remember that i am a weird one and have a favorite bath towel..the long beach one i bought in Hawaii...i also have a new favorite coffee cup with Eeyore on it..love Winnie the pooh :) so i remember to get these things in the bag.

Putting all my things in His house this afternoon was such a weird feeling...thinking back at my past i can't believe i am actually doing this.i will be living with Master..panic stricken for a moment i sit down to take it all in...wonder how different it will be when i do not have to leave.,..what if i get on His nerves and He puts me in the dark room in the garage. What if i snore all night and He gags me..if i kick Him, He will bind me..holy hell i hope i sleep quiet and still.

So tomorrow is the big day...as excited as i am, i am equally nervous...wishing myself luck..i head for the shower....

Diary pages of Naughty..yes i tried to kill Him again

i tried to kill Him again...yes i cooked for Him again.:(  Cooking for Him makes me so nervous but now i am accepting that if i do He will end up sick...

 

8:00 am i am rushing across town to meet the plumbers and let them in His house. Master bought a new fridge and He needs the water hooked up. How sweet was it that He thought of me and told me now i can have ice water all the time..

 

i call Him to let Him know it has been fixed. He is very happy and as usual He  lets me know He is pleased. i had decided i wanted to do something for Him to show Him how happy i am...what should i do,hmmmm...ah yes i should cook for Him again. Last time i cooked His sugars were over the charts..what are the odds they would be again,i think to myself. i'll just be careful...

 

He can hear the beeping in the background and asks about the noise. i inform Him i am cooking dinner for Him and He can just heat it up when He gets home. He is very pleased. As i am making the meatballs i think now how can i step this up...really show Him that i do love to do things extra for Him...

 

i decided to make things a little more fancy for home. i know in the hall closet are place mats..how lovely they even have hearts on them. Smiling to myself how silly it is to get excited over hearts i set His place. The place mat with the hearts, black linen napkin (folded like a fan),and the firk and knife tucked in on the napkin and held together with the pretty hand blown napkin ring i found at the consignment store. i step back to make sure it is all perfect..ohhh i almost forgot to set the coaster just perfect for His drink...it looks perfect. Smiling to myself i head back to the kitchen to check on the meal of poison :(

 

In His drawer i find a muffin mix...thinking well it would be too many carbs for one meal but He can have these in the morning for breakfast. i wonder what are the odds He has a muffin pan, heading out to the garage where He keeps the overflow from the kitchen...score there is one. Now i am feeling so excited which wow finding a muffin pan does this for me...washing it i think what are the odds there are muffin papers in a Master's house...omg can't believe my eyes. There are the cutest muffin papers with hearts on them. yay! surely if He sees the hearts He will know i care..this is how my silly mind works.

 

So dropping the meatballs and noodles into the sauce i decide that i want the muffins to look like they would on a farm. Off i go for the hunt..so far i have been 2 for 2 so maybe i can find some pretty paper or a cloth. ohhh i remember the bag of linens in the closet of the room Master calls my room. Digging through the bag i find the prettiest cloth napkin. Navy blue with little flowers on it., Holy hell i love this house...it is a gold mine of little things to cover every detail. After all the details are important when you are trying to go above the normal service. i was right the muffins look so cute.

 

i do my usual walk through the house..yes the glass door has no smudges and is locked. The deck table clean and ashray dumped. The remotes all in a line perfectly...not a wrinkle in His comforter..slippers facing out so they can easily be slipped on....chair pushed in at the desk and papers turned slightly sideways....the little ends tucked in the toilet paper like at the hotels...towels hanging perfect..ahh yes place setting looks great...coffee is made and on the timer...dinner looks pretty in that serving dish ( glad i remembered to wipe the sides of it with the paper towel just like on tv) and kitchen table mats all over lapping just perfect.Shit, i run through the house one more time doing the mental check....shutting the door behind me and locking it , i am happy with my day.

 

Driving back across town i think how i wish reality would not get in the way..how i would love to not have anything else to do but special little things for Him. He is such a wonderful Master and so genereous with me..that would be lovely if life would allow me to treat Him like a king everyday from the moment He woke to the moment He fell asleep at night.

Paying attention to details i think is very important when in service..it shows you have taken the time to actually think about what would please this Master...as They do when setting a scene..i just wish i had the ability to do this everyday all day...Reminding myself to be grateful for what i am allowed to do and not wish for something else...

 

Well bless His heart He loves His dinner and the way the house looks. He praises me for my efforts and i feel all warm and snuggly inside...By the time i reach His house to spend our evening time together He is not feeling well.i have done it again..,.i tell Him that maybe i should stop trying to cook for Him because now this is the second time i have made Him sick. He tells me again how good it was but it is not sitting well. i am not feeling good either so i try to convince myself that it is not my cooking but rather a flu..yes that's it..must be a flu. He dismisses me early to face the night of discomfort.

 

Now the reality is W/we do not have the flu..nice try on my part though. i most likely am getting ready to start and of course that means that damn enema is hanging over my head..i have tried wishing my period away but oh hell no..it comes anyway. Now Master on the other hand is a great Man that eats my cooking regardless of the fact He faces a night of hell when He does...

 

So, note to self, stop fucking cooking and do what your best at...pleasuring His cock! Leave the cooking to the ladies on tv and simply remain on your knees so that you are of some use...lmfao what a week....

 

 

The diary pages of Naughty..... online vs realtime

Panicked i pull my phone out from under my pillow. Damn it is 5:38 and He will be getting up soon. Cursing myself for waking up late i run to the bathroom..trying to put my make up on my puffy eyes...scramble to fix my ponytail,grabbing my shoes i run and i do mean run out the door.

It's Sunday morning and no one is on the road.."yes" i think to myself watching the clock through my half open eyes. Maybe He wont be awake. i laugh at  myself for that thought. Every street light i am begging "turn green" and watching the clock. My eyes are tearing from the make up as they always do when i put it on before i am even awake. i didn't have time for coffee but will enjoy a cup with Master when i get there.

Remembering His instructions last night to not call but come in and if he was asleep crawl into bed...opening the door slowly i see i am too late...

Kitchen light is on and He has already drank a cup of coffee..how funny it is to me that a quick glance tells me how long he has been up. "in here girl" i hear coming from His bedroom. i set my stuff on the table and slip off my shoes just like always.,..pissed at myself that i slept to long,i head to His room.

Dropping to my knees and laying my head on His knee...i feel the familiar peace come over me...i look at Him and smile and he tells me i look tired. W/we casually chat about our night after i left. Master tells me to get naked and slip under the covers and sleep for a bit. i thought i am such a lucky girl to have a Master like this...i explain to Him that i do not wish to waste the time sleeping and i head to the kitchen to fill His cup and get one for myself.

Master has company coming over today. He shows me how to make His delicious ribs...i wonder if He knows how sexy i think He is when He is teaching me things....i love the way His voice sounds with every instruction. i have such a hard time paying attention because i am lost in thoughts of how much i care for Him...i don't think He notices because i smile alot .:)

He sits on the couch and visits with me while i fuss about the house.i want things to look perfect for Him when his company arrives. While cleaning the kitchen Master comes in for a hug and some stolen kisses...He instructs me to drop  to my knees. Smiling i do as i am told. how sexy to be in the kitchen and on my knees. Master takes it away from me and i laugh at how He teases me.

Outside sitting at His table, He sits staring at me. i try to look into His eyes but He is so still it makes me nervous and i look away. "what are You thinking about" i ask Him giggling and he smiles softly and says "nothing".He decides that W/we are going to go lay down for awhile.  i follow Him to His room and crawl up on His bed. Master lays down and slides His arms around me,..there are no lights on. The room is soft and snug and dimly lit from the daylight peaking through from the living room. Master drifts off to sleep and i lay there with my heart pounding. i wasn't expecting to have this reaction to a simple nap.In fact my whole body was reacting to Him. How could i possibly sleep with this over powering closesness and the fire burning between my legs...listening to His breathing and feeling His arms hold me tight was hypnotic...Master rolls to His side and i tuck myself in His arms even closer. His heavy breathing quiets and He says "mine" and pulls me in tighter...

That is what i am, i thought to myself...If He is saying it in His sleep...i am His without any doubt in His mind....i lay there thinking back to when i was in an online. i think to myself this is the difference between  online and realtime.

In online the relationship is so intense. Everything is high energy and high drama. There was a time when i would become so enraged with real time slaves that would discredit online relationships like they were nothing. i would think to myself that they were snobs..that i was a real slave too. Truth of the matter is...i was a real time slave but of the sexual nature. Now there is nothing wrong with this but for this diary page i am going to talk about how i see it.

When being owned by an online Dom,you have many tasks to complete..most of the time it has a sexual twist to it. Asking for permission to masterbate,use the bathroom, go out with friends or have sex with someone in realtime. Usually you are not permitted to speak with other Doms for fear they lure you away from what little bit of control they have.Of course there is the usuall bed times and texting when waking and before sleep. All an illusion to being controlled. The intensity level is high because all you have are words. It becomes so addicting. you are now not alone..he is waiting for you at the computer every night. The illusion becomes stronger because you tell Him things you would never tell anyone...the screen allows you these freedoms. He walks you through orgasims and you find yourself cumming on live cam...unbelievable that you were able to do this for Him..how free you feel...such a good girl for breaking down the walls of shyness for His pleasure. How easily He dismisses you because you are miles apart...simply text or email that you were a disappointment and you are now released....how will you take your life back...make decissions on your own..he has controlled everything for so long...by walking away from the addiction.The same as you do when you stop watching a tv show you are hooked on...just walk away...just like they do so many times.

In realtime this intensity doesnt rule the relationship. There is a sweet level of peace and reality. You can feel your Masters hands on your face...hear Him breathing in your ear. The look in His eyes tells you everything you need to know.There is no more need for mindless tasks because if he wants to play with you for His entertainment....you are right there in front of Him...He can choose the panties that you wear and take His own picture <smiles> He doesnt need proof of your obediance because He is there to see it and either reward or punish. He can instruct you how to touch yourself for His pleasure or He can simply bind you and touch you Himself...

In real time there is more then just the sexual nature of ownership...when online you cannot fold His clothes. You cannot bend down and kiss His pillow so that He is sleeping on your kisses everynight. Reality is there to mess up little plans sometimes because life is messy...there are levels to being a slave i never understood when i was online. i would easily take offence of what others said...

Now i understand it..i finally get it...after all, if i was still online i would have never heard my Master's voice in my hear calling me "mine" and i wouldn't have traded that for nothing.

the diary of Naughty..mind,body and soul

i walk in the house and set my keys on the table. Sliding my shoes off and taking in the familiar sounds and smells. Silently i walk down the hall and start my usual search with my eyes. i see Him there on the couch with the TV being the only light. i smile slightly to show Him i am happy to be there. "hello Master" is all i manage to say as i drop to my knees and lay my head on His stomach.

Tears swell in my eyes , i have had such a stressful week. i need to release all of this emotion. i do not do it with words as i don't want to weigh Him down with the negativity. There is no reason to disturb "O/our" place with the details. i know i am where i belong and it starts to heal my disturbed heart and mind.

He allows me this time because He knows i need it. He softly pets my hair and my tension begins to fade. He says nothing but just sits and waits for me composure. This time is priceless to me...there is no place like "O/our" place. i am not talking about His living room in His house...i am referring to the place where W/we meet together in the bond.

The place where only He and i exist...where the comfort of each other is the only thing that matters...where words have no significance....Where He takes my stress from me and returns comfort. Comfort in knowing i am His and all the rest is just details. The simplicity of this is all i need. The simple thought that i belong to Him is the cure for everything that disturbs me.

His energy is low and my emotions are high but together there is a place that He and i meet in the middle and everything is calm.This is when i understand that everything i am belongs to Him now.

Through out all the writing on this lifestyle you will hear a submissive say that they have given their Doms their minds,their bodies, and their souls. Often times i see this as an over used statement..one that has been beat to death just as people throw around the words " i love you". Do they understand what they are really saying...what is truly expected of them..the payment for the journey into the sweet darkness....

Thinking about this heavily today..i have given Master..my body first. When W/we first came together i willingly gave Him my body...not just in sex but in service to Him. i do my chores at His house and i enjoy them. i give to Him my body for His pleasure and i experience things that stay with me always. He uses this body to play out His sadistic side and he enjoys bringing pain to the skin on His property... Without laying down specific rules of dress...i am changing the way i dress His property to meet His tastes....These are all examples of giving to Him my body.The body is the most obvious to give and the easiest.

i have given Him my mind...He is in my thoughts almost 24 hours a day. When i say almost it is because i choose honesty over words. There are times when i am not thinking of Him..when i am merely lost in a movie or what i am doing. These moments do not last long before He is knocking at the door in my mind and i am reminded of where i belong. i find myself running two programs most of the time in my head..the one that runs in the back ground replaying things i have been taught by Him..running instructions on things i am to do for the day...making mental lists of things that displease Him..things that He has enjoyed or approved of. These mental lists are always being proof read my me and re written...the are a constant work in progress and this is why this program is rarely shut off. it even runs in my sleep. The other being what i am doing in the present time...i function quite well with both running at the same time. it makes me laugh sometimes to think "of only people could see what is going on in my mind"

He rules my mind...His words come to me when making decissions....i flash to my memory of His likes when making decissions. He is always a part of what i decide. The decissions i make are always in the interest of pleasing Him. my mind is His playground and i give it to Him willingly.

Finally i give to Him my heart..i choose to say heart instead of soul but as you can plainly read He owns that as well...i give to Him my heart and i do so without choice..He has taken it without warning. i knew this part last night without a doubt...when i see Him and i crumble inside from the walls of stress...when i kneel at His feet and become safe in the feelings of being smaller....when His gentle kiss makes me almost physically see all the chaos disappear in my mind...He has taken my heart. He gives me butterflies and tingling...Thinking of Him brings a glowing smile to my face..romance is always on my mind. When i have disappointed Him it hurts deeply. It shreds my very being to hear it in His voice....and when i lay my head on His stomach or in His lap i am at peace. When He is inside me i feel like we cant get close enough..i want to be totally engulfed by Him..

The exchange between U/us is a perfect balance. His Dominance vs my submission....His taking and my giving...His control and my surrender....i am His..He is not mine...i am His property.